A Wrap Around Meeting

I was invited to attend a wrap around meeting for a student this evening. That's a meeting of people who form a support group for someone experiencing extreme difficulties coping with life - in this case, a student  of mine who has been in a residential facility since January.

As of July 3 she is home and adjusting to life with her family again. Twelve adults, including her parents, me, Linda Fields (Hershey's principal), her pastor, and some family members gathered together to help her identify goals that will help her overcome her struggles and strategies to achieve those goals.

I am so glad I went - I love this girl and she has stayed in contact with me by phoning me occasionally from the facility. Linda and I have worked together to plan for this coming school year and to help the girl adjust to being back in school. (It is interesting to note that we never saw any of the anger issues the student has in the classroom or at school. Every explosion and blow-up happened at home. Linda believes strongly that school was her "safe place" and that is why the problems were always at home.)

The meeting was interesting. I am not a member of this family, but I was made privy to the inner workings of it as all their problems were plainly laid out before the support group. We worked for two hours, talking, discussing, thinking, before we were done.

To me, the outsider to the family, it seemed as though the strategies that were put in place really did not address the underlying issue - a profound unhappiness and anger about something that leads to out of control behavior.

And it was almost as though we are putting a bandaid on a minor cut while internal hemorrhaging is happening unseen with the patient in grave danger as a result.

I hope my feelings are wrong.