Back at the Barn

Last week I wrote about discovering that the doctor who does my spine injections is also a horsey girl. We spent part of my appointment talking horses and she ended up giving me her personal cell number so we could arrange a visit to the barn. 

Yesterday was the day we'd scheduled to visit the horses. But when she got home from work, she discovered that both her sons were running fevers. She was really disappointed, but I assured her that I could easily reschedule and we'd go another time when the boys were healthy.

I started to head back into the sewing room to get some more Feast work done, but then I decided I would go by myself. I had already cut up apples and carrots, and I knew that  Tim had moved the horses to a dryer area so we would not get muddy.

So, I put down my sewing needle, stepped into my barn boots, and headed out.

Sultanna is the only horse who really knows me well - the others arrived after Abby's death. She came right up to say hello.

It was good to see her. I fed her some apple slices and petted her a bit before moving on.

EZ has a shoulder injury and is on stall rest for a month. Tim has a movable pen he puts in various places so EZ can be outside and get some fresh air.

Bogo doesn't know me and while she liked my apple offerings, she really wasn't interested in visiting.

Same with Penny - she ate her apples and then walked off and out into the northwest pasture to graze.

With Tim's permission, Indianna has Rosy Red fish residing in the trough eating algae and insect larva. There are some PVC pipes to give them shelter from the sun and predators. I had to smile - it is clear that Tim loves having Belle and her kids at his barn!

I walked through the new barn - Belle's family's saddles were lined up in a row and made me smile.

I almost took my English saddle home as I need it next month for the Feast School Day presentation I'm doing, but I will get it another time and will probably keep it here at home after that.

The lounge had recently been swept and Tim's wood carving things have been put away. They'll be back again, though - he carves a lot during cold weather.

As I finished walking around, my heart grew heavy. The grief at losing Abby had surfaced and I felt it keenly as I finished my walk-through of the barn.

I drove home in tears. 

I was happy to have been at the barn, but this is why I mostly stay away now. My girl is gone and the grief begins to well in my heart as I visit a place that I love and that has so many happy memories.

But the best part of those memories is gone and I miss Abby's presence. Her whickers when she would see me arrive and the way she would come barreling up to the gate to greet me. The pied piper moments and how she followed me everywhere. The companionship as we simply hung out together.

It's been over two years since that lightning strike took her life but clearly my heart still has not healed.

Stay 'tooned.