Come What May

Yesterday was not one of my better blog posts. I really was feeling out of sorts.

I have an excellent Primary Care Physician and started the day with a 9:00 appointment with her. She examined me and then sent me to Imaging with STAT orders for a CT scan. That STAT order eliminated several hours of waiting - I got right in and then had the results in less than two hours.

This picture was taken while I waited for my CT scan and shows how tired and stressed I was.

The hernia was much larger than when it was last checked, and so now I have another STAT order to see a surgeon. My PCP is so concerned that I get it fixed that I have a phone number to call if I don't hear from him by the end of today or if his schedule is too busy to get me to surgery soon. Dr. Kengeri will intervene on my behalf if that is the case. 

Things are moving quickly, not necessarily a bad thing but more than a little overwhelming. I went home after a long morning and was excitedly greeted by our "Wednesday friends."

"Happiness is a warm puppy" (coined by Charles Schultz) has a lot of truth in it.

They make me smile when they play Little Red Riding Hood and work out the napping arrangements. (Mama has taken over Tammo's bed and fluffed up his blankets to suit herself. I love how her ear is flopped over the side of the cushion.)

They steal toys from each other and then hold them in their paws or lie on top of them to protect them from being (re)stolen.

Nash has won the red twist from both Pepper and Tammo and he's flopped down on it while holding a bone and a pull toy under his front paws and chin.

They make us all happy when they are here and yesterday the dogs tagged around with me quite a bit. Maybe they sensed that I was unsettled (okay, grumpy) and I certainly had some interesting smells on me after spending the morning in a medical facility. Whatever it was, I was grateful to have them close by. (It goes without saying that I felt the same about Craig and Lisa, too!)

Routine can also make me feel better when life isn't going quite how I'd like and sewing is a near-daily routine for me. Currently I'm working on a custom shirt for a woman who came into my tent during the Feast.

She wanted this shirt (and bought the black and red one), but the blue shirt was too big. I ordered more fabric and am working on that for her now.

Sewing is peaceful and I especially enjoy pleating, which is needed for the sleeves and neckline of a trade shirt. Pleating the sleeves yesterday afternoon was relaxing and a bit of normalcy, something I was craving.

I ended the day with a much calmer "come what may" attitude and feeling better prepared to face the upcoming challenge of another surgery. (Less grumpy, too!)

 

Resigned & Reluctant

Making Christmas, indeed! I was very busy yesterday, sorting through all my beeswax ornaments, writing up specific lists of which molds to pull and how many I needed to make of them, and more. 

I got a lot done until suddenly I began to hurt in my abdomen. To me there is a difference between discomfort and pain, and boy howdy, this was pain.

It was a familiar pain and one I absolutely did not want to deal with - it involves a surgery that I have been putting off for over two years despite my doctor's recommendation that I get it done.

Long story short, after my pancreatectomy and splenectomy in 2019, I developed a large incisional hernia with a second internal one behind it. They were repaired in 2020 but by 2022 had returned.

It's gotten bigger and bigger and is very visible. (Since I am too old to be pregnant, most people probably assume it is fat, but it's not. LOL)  Aside from having trouble at times with waistbands pressing on it and some discomfort, I've done my best to ignore it for the past two years.

Yesterday, there was no ignoring it. I called my doctor and while she wanted me to go to the ER, I did not. I already had an appointment with her the next day (which is today) and since she is familiar with my health and has checked the hernia many times, I wanted to see what she thought before undergoing testing. (Plus, the pain lessened and became mostly just discomfort.) 

I had to promise to go to the ER if the pain returned, and while it did begin ramping up some later in the afternoon, it was not even close to the level it had been late morning. 

I strongly suspect Dr. Kengeri will send me to the hospital for testing today and that I will not be able to postpone the surgery this time. I'm feeling old, I'm feeling discouraged, and even a bit grumpy. 

And while I am resigned to it, I am very, very reluctant to begin the surgery process yet again. With 17 past surgeries, I am not looking forward to another. Especially not with the holidays approaching.

Another apropros quote today from yesterday's  The Nightmare before Christmas, "There goes Christmas!" Doggone it.

Stay 'tooned.

What's Going On?

Second Post of the Day

I have heard from many of you, both on the blog and by email, concerned about me being ill this week. Thank you so much for the well wishes. Yes, I have been ill this week, but it is a "good sick" not a "bad sick."

Glinda's query ran through my mind as I typed that! Hah!

This week all I have had is flu - headache, fever, nausea, tiredness, and more. I've slept a lot and two days later, I feel much better. I was glad to have a "good sick." 

By comparison, yes, there is a heavier issue going on. I have undergone many tests since mid May and more testing is scheduled through June 17 as we try to figure out what this is. It may be a serious diagnosis, it may be related to not having a spleen and no immune system, or it may simply be that an incisional hernia I have battled for a while (and we know is growing) is pushing on my lungs and diaphragm.

I am hoping that the issues are a relatively simple thing and are the result of my pancreatic surgery in 2019 as well as having had six babies (including 10 pounder Cole). The incision from that surgery has popped open internally twice now causing what is called (obviously), an incisional hernia.

I first had surgery to repair it in 2020. Two years later, I noticed a small protrusion that has been getting larger ever since. I've done my best ignore it. 

My primary care physician is aware of it and has been encouraging me to return to my surgeon and get it fixed. Normally I do as my physicians ask, but in this case, I just don't want to go through another surgery of any kind. (In my defense, I have had over 15 surgeries during the past 20 years.)

It's ba-ack!! 

But it's really big and needs to be done, I understand that. That it may be involved with the other symptoms I am having surprised me. But that would be much better than the other things that all this could be.

And, the other issues may be completely unrelated. They involve the heart, lungs, and blood. All the tests I have been going through (I have another this afternoon in Indy; no sewing time today!) are to gather info and see where the issues may lie. Some things have been found already and are being treated.

So, that's just an update to clarify. I don't want to share too much until we have a diagnosis. But since I heard from so many of you (heartfelt thanks; ya'll are the best!) I wanted to post an update. I promise I will let you know when we know what's going on and have a plan to proceed.  

Thanks again, folks. Your support has meant a lot. xo

 

Surgery Prep

As my surgery approaches, I have been following the news about COVID-19 carefully. Since my surgery is not an emergency, it is considered elective, and some hospitals in the area are no longer performing elective surgeries in order to free up rooms and doctors for patients ill with this newest coronavirus.

I went down to Indianapolis to meet with my surgeon a couple of weeks ago and had my preops done while I was there. They expire a month after they have been done; if my surgery has to be postponed, then I may have to do them all over again. (Would my insurance cover that expense? Or would I have to? A question to ask, for sure!)

The rolling bag containing all my preop/preparation devices and prescriptions that they gave me along with my purse while I was at the surgeon's office. 

Some of my preparation materials.

Yesterday, the surgeon's office called me to let me know that my surgery was still scheduled but I was cautioned that, "Things can change quickly." I asked if I should begin drinking my Impact Immunonutrition, a prescription drink that is very expensive. I am supposed to drink three of them a day. I was directed to go ahead and start.

I do hope that I can have the surgery as scheduled. While I am a little self conscious about the "baby bump" (as Craig and I call it) that is so visible, there is a bigger issue than that. The bulge is so large that, while I can still snap my jeans, pants, and skirts, it is VERY uncomfortable when I do so. That makes it hard to go out in public. (Although I am staying home most of the time in order to stay healthy for the surgery. I don't want to postpone it like I had to in August.)

I guess time will tell; in the meantime, I am on pins and needles as I prepare. Wish me luck!

Here We Go Again!

In January, I had one of those weeks we all have occasionally. One of the things that had happened was that I had discovered a swelling underneath the incision from my pancreatic surgery. After having it checked here in town with my own doctor, I was told that I had developed an incisional hernia and needed to see a surgeon.

It's large enough to see under my clothes. Craig and I call it my baby bump.

I had a choice to see a surgeon here in town or to head down to Indianapolis and have my pancreatic surgeon do the repair. I decided that I felt more comfortable returning to Indy. (As Dr. Schmidt's nurse breezily put it, "After all, he already knows what your innards look like." Alrighty, then!!)

Tuesday Craig and I spent four hours at Simon Cancer Center meeting with my surgeon, various nurses, doctors, and case workers, and having blood drawn, x-rays,  an EKG, and other things done. I was a bit dismayed to find that the surgery would not be simple. Not only will Dr. Schmidt have to reopen the incision, but he will need to make two other cuts, one on either side of my abdomen. The reason? The opening inside is too big to just pull closed; the sutures would tear the tissue if he did. Cuts on either side give leeway for pulling things together. (And then those must be sutured, too.)

Me with my hospital carry bag of supplies, a prescription needed for prep, and my purse waiting to be called back in x-ray.

Surgery is scheduled for later this month, and I have to do the same prep regimen of exercise, vitamins, spirometer, Immunonutrition drinks, and so on. I will be in the hospital for three days, and was warned that this surgery would actually be more painful than the pancreatectomy/splenectomy done last August. That was something else I did not expect - I didn't think anything could be worse than that.

Here we go again!