A few of you have asked if i would post what I said at church on Wednesday. Happy to do so. And as you read, remember that it was not me that wrote this, it was truly the Holy Spirit. It is funny that as I read it the other day, I couldn't remember typing most of it :-) but that is just God!
This is the time in the service that is called “rememberance” and at first, to me, that sounds like something to do that is in past tense. In Gayle’s case however, I want us to only look back for today and then look forward to how your lives will play out because of the example set by my beautiful bride.
Gayle knew me better than anyone ever has and likewise I knew everything about her. I know, if she were standing here today she would first and foremost NOT want her life and memories of her life to be centered around disease. Much to the contrary, I know she would switch the focus immediately from her to all of you. So I will do the same.
Gayle’s and my life changed drastically during a two-week period in our lives. No, not when diagnosed, but a full 3 or 4 years earlier when we took a good look at our life and noticed we were just cruising along on coast. Going along with the popular ideas of what a marriage looked like, what a family and a career looked like, and frankly, we had it pretty good. Honestly, though, we felt utterly empty. Now, like many of you, we didn’t even realize we were empty until we knew what it was like to be full. I believe it was in 2003 when Gayle and I both went to a weekend event called The Great Banquet. I know many of you here today have gone to this weekend as well. Our weekends were #47 and #49. Can anyone here tell me what number we are on now (just shout it out).
First of all, Gayle would want you to go. Seek out the Great Banquet community in your area of the nation and go. Period. It was after this weekend that Gayle convinced me (with nearly violent persuasion) that she should quit her very, very good job and stay home with the kids. After much prayer and many heated “discussions” she beat me down enough to try this new scenario. We also found our new church family here at ECC, without whom, our new life in Christ would have always been in the infant stage, and now we have grown enormously in the knowledge and love of Jesus.
After our new encounter with Christ and with our Christian family, Gayle was a new creation. Her focus shifted to letting God lead and following that direction no matter what the cost. Me, being the somewhat uptight worrier of the family struggled to keep up with the massive focus change that Gayle was so obedient to follow.
Many of you know the first-hand compassion of Gayle. She ministered to you by acts of service, she prayed for you and with you when your battle was raging. No matter what her health situation was, she never, and I mean NEVER sat back and said something couldn’t be done to help someone else.
Besides putting up with me for nearly 14 years of marriage, she encouraged and loved 4 beautiful babies, three of which are straight A students and the fourth probably is but there are no report cards in preschool. I am proud of my wife for managing our household so well. I always referred to her as the CEO and CFO of the family, and she truly was. And at any time she could reveal to me just how much I was spending on lunches out and gas and whatever else you can imagine. Of course I never did see a line item in the budget for her near-daily trips to Target, which she often referred to as her “happy place.” By the way if any of you own Target stock, I would watch for a drop in profits this coming quarter.
About a year ago, Gayle found out that there were children that went to school with our kids and went hungry on the weekend because their families did not have ample resources to provide them with food other than the school lunches on weekdays. Gayle found this unacceptable and, despite her being on chemo for months and months, charged out to create a program similar to the programs used in some city schools to send hungry children home on Friday with a backpack full of food for their entire family. Most schools, she found out, receive grants or government funding for these programs, but our school did not have enough students on reduced or free lunches to qualify. So, to my knowledge, Gayle formed the state’s very first privately-funded, backpack program. This program is now fully funded through this school year and feeds over 40 families every week. None of this would have been possible first without a softened heart. Gayle certainly had a soft heart to anyone who was in need, but not until she gave her heart away to Jesus. That surrender, if you knew Gayle at all, was difficult to do, but great fruit has been gathered due to her obedience.
Gayle also loved to laugh, obviously you would know that by looking at me. I always teased her that it took her 10 years of marriage to realize I was funny. Once she did, being the competitor she was, she began to come out of her comic shell a bit as well. Some of the funniest, and best timed, comments I have ever heard (the kind that make your drink come out of your nose) were said by Gayle on several occasions over the past 4 years, most at my expense, but hey, I am an easy target. As we currently are in the House of God, I will not share these stories, but see me later and I may share a few as long as you are not currently taking a drink of anything.
Gayle was all about love. The Bible says, God is love. And truly, Gayle was all about God. A good friend shared a story with me the other day about how, just after being diagnosed, then asked how she felt, Gayle said she felt honored. Who answers like that? Angry, scared, upset. Those would be more realistic, but not Gayle. She was honored to know that God was going to use this illness for His glory.
So the question Gayle would want to pose to you today is not how, but WHEN are you going to remember Gayle? Are you going to remember her when you have a chance to be selfless? Are you going to remember her when you are asked to do something that will cost you dearly and you don’t even know what good will come out of it? Will you remember her when you leave here and have this longing in your heart to have the close relationship with God that she had?
Everything that Gayle did in her life, especially in the last few years of her life, point to God. Her life, this day, even this service, Gayle would tell you, are NOT ABOUT HER, but about God and His goodness, His faithfulness and His desire to have each of you know His love for you. She would tell you simply that the best is yet to come.
Trust me when I tell you that you (that I) could not go through these trials without God. You could try, but you do not have the strength to endure the pain without Him. So whether it is tonight when you have quiet time alone, or if it is right now, ask Jesus to be your Savior, your Lord, your friend and comfort. Gayle lived to show you an example of how to live in God’s favor. Jesus lived and DIED so you can have an abundant life on earth and eternal life in heaven. Both Jesus and Gayle want to see your face when you arrive. So remember Gayle by remembering that it was GOD alone that walked with her on her journey and the same God loves you just as much as he loves Gayle.
