School's Out! (Again)

School's out, and I have made it through my five weeks as the teacher for the middle schoolers at the alternative school. There were lots of ups and downs, tears, and frustrations on my part, but we had some good moments, too. My goal was to get them back in school, and for ten kids, that is going to happen. 

I began with thirteen kiddos, expelled two due to gross violations of the rules for being in the program, and a third left of his own volition. Of the remaining ten kids, I have hopes for them to be successful next year, but it is up to them. 

One of the very best parts of coming out of retirement is that I had a former student of mine working alongside of me.

I was Madeline's teacher for 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. She is now studying to be a teacher at Purdue University, and so when they told me I could have a classroom assistant, I invited her to apply for the job.  What a treat to work with her! And she is going to be an excellent teacher herself.

It was a proud teacher moment for me when Madeline taught the students origami - something that I introduced her to when she was in my classroom.

The students were absolutely riveted and for many of them, it was an opportunity to be successful at something in school.

Some even took the origami to different levels, experimenting with various sizes of paper as well as making other shapes besides the cranes that Madeline taught them.

The very last day of school was the roughest we'd had in the class for at least a week. The kids were DONE with school and their behavior reflected that. It was a constant juggle all day long, and my patience was stretched as thin as I think it has ever been stretched before. One student became so angry at me that I was actually afraid that he was going to hit me at one point as he raised his voice and yelled at me. (I called the principal for help at that point.)

 My desk and things, all packed up for the end of the school year.

As difficult as those five weeks were, I did come to love the students. There were moments when the tough outer exteriors dropped for a few moments and I could see them as simply kids. We even had some laughter - the morning class had a running joke about always being hungry (none of them ate breakfast and so would be hungry an hour into the school day.) It became a fun joke of them begging for food or threatening to use their phones to order something and have it delivered to school. One boy even googled, "What to do when your teacher is starving you" and showed it to me, and we laughed and laughed over that one. So some good moments, some glimmers of who they could be if they would take the chance being offered them and change their focus to better things.

I wrapped up the last day by packing and closing down the classroom after the students left. I am exhausted and drained, and my emotions are mixed. Did I really make any kind of difference in those kids' lives? There was some progress - ten students will be back in school this August, their language was much improved, and they ended the school year far more respectful than they were five weeks ago when I arrived. 

Tough as it was, I'm glad that I took the position. I hope that perhaps the kids saw a different side of life and know that I cared about them. My fingers are crossed that they will find better success next year than they did this one.

It's now up to them.

A Breakthrough

Three weeks ago I took over the middle school classroom at my school corporation's alternative school. There are thirteen 6th, 7th, and 8th graders in the class, all of whom have been expelled from their regular schools and are in a program designed to help them return to school next fall. That is, if they can make it through this program - they get three chances, and then they are out permanently and cannot re-enter school again. Two have already been unable to comply with the school's rules and been permanently expelled.

These are the toughest of the tough kids in the area, and it has been rough to say the least. I've had to deal with things that are unimaginable in a general education classroom. I've been called awful names, I've had to call Child Protection Services on behalf of a child, and I've seen the affects of drug abuse. It has been eye opening to say the least.

But in the end, they're still kids. And some of them have begun letting down their guards and are beginning to learn and be civil, to each other and to me.

One of the students designed a mascot for our class and gave me a copy of her drawing.

I won't make much of a difference in their lives in just five short weeks. But my hope has been that they will know that I care about them and am trying to help them. My efforts have not seemed to have had any effect. Until yesterday afternoon.

An 8th grade girl approached me as the dismissal bell rang. "You know," she said offhandedly, "I sort of like you. You're nice."

I have gone home in tears more than once the past three weeks. This time, the tears were tears of happiness. We had a breakthrough.